Local News

Dick gets new cow

New Holstein Cow Bought

By D. Huddleston

A new Holstein cow that can trace her folks back 20 generations has been bought by Dick Huddleston and it has started the women of Pine Ridge to looking at their own family trees. There ain’t but two folks here who has been able to figger back beyond their own great-grandfolks. Abner says he heard his kinfolk fit in the Revolution, but he ain’t sure. But the cow has got a signed paper to prove who she is, and it’s good honest stock, all of it. Some of the womenfolk who have been busy looking up their own family trees are a bit afraid that what they hope’ll be Rosewood is going to turn out to be dogwood or slippery elm.

Lady Firemen quit

Lady Firemen Call It Quits as Alfie Flies

The Pine Ridge Lady Fire Helpers, which Mrs. Squire Skimp thought up as a good notion to keep the women busy, has been give up.

Alfie Cook, who has been teaching the womenfolk how to hold a blanket that will ketch people when they jump from a high building that’s on fire, agreed last Tuesday to be the first citizen to try it out.

They picked out the lodge hall for Alfie to jump from, seein’ it’s the only two story building we got in Pine Ridge, but when he came flyin’ off the roof like a goose hopping off a rail fence, most of the Pine Ridge Lady Fire Helpers couldn’t stand to look and instead of holding the blanket they snatched their hands up over their eyes.

Alfie is doing nicely, according to Doc Miller, and will be up in about a month.

Cedric has birthday

Cedric Celebrates His Fifth Birthday

Quite a few of the folks was out on Feb. 29 this year to help Cedric Weehunt celebrate his fifth birthday. Coming on Leap Year Day like that, it ain’t but once in four years that Cedric has hisself a birthday, and his folks try to make up to him fer it. Everything come by fours, even to the foots on the setter pup his Uncle Mike Weehunt sent to make up the 20 cents Grandpappy Spears has gave him over his last four birthdays. Nobody was took sick much with the birthday cake which was four foot acrost and has 20 coal oil lanterns to lighten it up.

Henry’s Hogs go haywire

Henry’s Hogs Go Mad: Can’t Take the Rap

Uncle Henry Lunsford will have to figure out some new way of hog calling or his stock will be driv crazy. Henry had to the hogs all learned to come when he stepped outside the back porch and banged on a porch post. But now that spring has came and the birds are back, there’s a family of woodpeckers in the Lunsford’s back yard that have Henry’s hogs wore out running from one post to another.

Tan yard sign no go

Tan Yard Sign Dont Work Out

The new sign Marty Wood put up to advertise his tanyard ain’t working out too good. Marty thought he had a smart idy when he bored an auger hole through the door jamb and stuck a calf’s tail in it with the furry end hanging outside. The sign has drawed folks alright, but nobody to buy or sell hides. What most folks want to know is how the calf got through that hole.

Luke Spears Fleas

Luke Spears Dedicates Fire Buggy and Fleas

Luke Spears has been in hiding ever since he made that out loud talk dedicating the new fire buggy that has been given the city for chasing fires. Luke would of been alright, as he was doing fine by his speech making, if some of our unmarried ladies had not been there to listen.

The war started when Luke wound up his talk by saying he hoped the fire buggy would be like all the old maids in the community–always ready but never called for.

Sam is give title

Polite Man Title is Give to Sam Jennifer

Justice Lum Edwards has give the title of Pine Ridge’s Most Polite Man to Sam Jennifer. Sam’s wife had him hauled into court for not speaking to her during seven years past.

Case was dismissed and Sam given his new title when he explained to Justice Edwards that he didn’t like to interrupt the lady.

–From The Pine Ridge News, Spring 1936

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